Tuesday, January 24, 2017

A632.9.3.RB_MilliganSteven

A little over six years ago I began to think about asking my girlfriend to marry me.  While I was confident that she would say yes if I asked her, my example is more in my confidence that I was asking the right person.  I had, had several relationships before her.  Some were good, some were ok and others were terrible.  None of them was I ever confident that if I were to marry that person that everything would turn out the way I wanted it to.  At that time I had no idea where life would take us and the trials we would have to experience.  I knew that whomever I was going to marry would have to love me with all of my flaws and would also have to be independent and determined.  I had just started looking into the military and knew if I decided to join that life would be difficult for both of us.  We would move every few years with the possibility of living overseas far away from family and at some point I would deploy leaving my wife to take care of the children by herself.  I have minimal confidence in my own ability to take care of the kids by myself for more than a few hours much less six months at a time.  However, when I asked my wife to marry me I had all the confidence in the world that I was going to marry someone that would make my life significantly better and be an incredible mom.  I never once second guessed that decision and six years later feel the exact same way as I did then, only now I know for a fact that she is as great as I originally believed her to be.  At the time of asking her to marry me I was nervous about her reaction and nervous about our future but I was confident that I was making the right decision.

My second experience is my actual decision to join the Reserve Officer Training Corp program.  At the time I had been going to school for a while and still hadn't found what I really wanted to do for a living.  I had switched degrees several times.  I realized I enjoyed marketing and public relations and decided to major in this subject.  At this point my Dad had been pushing me to go and check out the ROTC program with the Air Force.  I told him I had no desire to join the military.  Being a military brat myself I knew the hardships that it has on families and children.  Eventually he convinced me to just go and see and talk to the detachment commander.  I decided to start going to the morning physical training sessions and just take one ROTC class to see if I liked it.  I quickly found that there were a lot of things I enjoyed and quite a few things I hated about it.  It took up a lot of extracurricular time, I was often up at 5:00 a.m. for PT and tried to juggle the rest of school and work also.  There were several times that I contemplated quitting.  I wasn't sure the military was for me.  I didn't want to be a pilot and didn't really know what else the Air Force could offer me.  After attending  the summer field training where I was yelled at for a month straight I decided to continue with the program and see what it held for me.  In the end, I still wasn't sure I wanted to join the military but it held a good job and good insurance.  I knew I wanted to start a family soon and this was the best way to ensure we would be taken care of for a while.  Over the years I have done things and been a part of something far greater than the paycheck and traveling the world.  I have taken care of my airmen and help fight to free those that are being oppressed.  Five years after joining I can say that I am now confident that my decision to join was the right one, however, at the time I first joined I was extremely nervous and unsure at my decision.  There have even been times in my career that I have second guessed my decision, however, in the end I am still grateful I joined and for the greater good I am a part of. 

In the first scenario I felt confident when we first got married and still feel confident.  This is not to say that marriage is always easy.  It is sometimes difficult, frustrating and exhausting.  I am still confident that we made the right decision and am grateful she is in my life.  In the second scenario I was first unsure about joining, especially when I was told I was going to be a logistics officer.  At the time I didn't really know what that meant.  Over the years I have come to enjoy my job and am happy I made the decision.  However, I am still unsure about the future and how long I want to stay in the military.  At some point I may have to put my family first if the Air Force asks too much of us.  This last year has been especially difficult on both my wife and the kids, I am not sure how often the Air Force will ask me to leave them for months at a time but there will come a time where I will have to decide if enough is enough and may have to look into changing my career.  For now, I am confident that the decision we made was the right one and will continue to do so for at least the next several years.

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